Part 1

First, for the purposes of this article and all future articles the term social anxiety will refer to the illness listed as 300.23 in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV.

Second, if there is one fact that I've learned about social anxiety it is that there are almost no actual facts about this disorder. There are a lot of theories from a lot of sources; doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, professors, etc but those are just theories and from people who don't have social anxiety at that. Very little in the way of fact however.

Third, I'm no expert on social anxiety, I'm not a doctor. I'm not even a high school graduate. However I have had social anxiety my entire life and I did run the largest social anxiety website on the internet for most of the past decade. I read literally thousands of stories from thousands of people over the years with all different levels of anxiety from mild to severe and I think it has given me a unique perspective on the subject. This will be the first in a series of articles of some of the things I've learned.

Fourth, I won't be citing any sources unless it's to give credit where credit is due. It would be rather pointless because for every source cited I could find another that says the exact opposite.

Because everyone else does. It fits. When I first found a name for my problem it was social phobia but when I went online looking for answers the people I talked to almost never used that term except in a clinical setting. Sometimes people would say social anxiety disorder but not often. Virtually every person who suffers from social phobia calls it social anxiety, or simply SA.
Now if you think it isn't important what we call it you're wrong. There are people who don't have social anxiety who are using the term in ways that diminish the seriousness of this disorder.

Pre 1980's there was no such thing as social anxiety. It existed but it had no name. People suffered in silence throughout history knowing they were different but not why. They were called hermits and loners. Then as now they were easy to miss. For the most part they didn't make it into the history books but they were there none the less.
The powers that be gave this illness a name in DSM-III, Social Phobia. It was not invented then, it was merely recognized and given a name. In DSM-IV it was given an alternate name of Social Anxiety Disorder. As I write this there are people writing DSM-V and those people can rename our illness yet again. They could even do away with it altogether if they wish.

Today I'm here to tell you and everyone else that from this day forward I don't care what the doctors, the psychiatrists, the psychologists, the professors and the laymen call our illness I'm calling it Social Anxiety.
I'm not letting anyone take it away from me. It took way to long to find it to give it up easily.

I'm also not letting anyone diminish the suffering I've gone through for the past 52 years by saying things like "social anxiety is normal" or "social anxiety isn't always a bad thing". It is not normal and it is always a bad thing.
If you were afraid or worried you might get laid off from your job would people say you had work anxiety? No. It's normal. If you were afraid or nervous about interviewing for a job should people say you had social anxiety? No. That's normal too. It's just anxiety like any other. It just confuses people and for no good reason.

Let me ask, how many of you are too embarrassed to tell anyone you have social anxiety? The stigma sucks doesn't it? Personally I don't intend to sit idly by while people who don't know any better and people who should know better trivialize my suffering. When I see people making false claims about SA I intend to say something, assuming of course my SA lets me. You should think about doing the same.

I don't know and I want to laugh at the people who claim they do. As you might already know the prevailing thought is that there are two kinds of SA; generalized and specific. I have the generalized type myself as do most people. That is the type I'll speak on unless I say otherwise because I understand the specific type even less than my own. Other that the end feeling of anxiety I seem to have little in common with the people who have the specific type. Facial blushing, sweating (hyperhidrosis) and public speaking are all terrible things and for many they are the be all/ end all of their anxiety but for me they're just small parts to a puzzle that has many such parts. For example, I have hyperhidrosis but it didn't start until I was in my late 40's so it didn't even play a role in the development of my SA.

There has been some debate over the use of the term social phobia because the generalized variety doesn't resemble a phobia much at all. On the other hand the specific type fits in with other phobias quite well. Perhaps they should be separated?

Lets try this instead, I'll tell you what it isn't. It isn't shyness. Let me say that again, it is not shyness. Now don't get me wrong, I'm very shy and most people who have SA are. But shyness isn't an illness. It's very unfortunate yes, shyness sucks pretty bad in it's own right but it is not an illness.

My wife Rebecca has SA every bit as bad as I do but she doesn't have a shy bone in her body. She enjoys talking where I hate it. She does fine talking to one person where for me one person is worse than ten. Our anxiety is different in a lot of areas but there is a lot of overlap as well. I can say for a fact though if shyness were part of the criteria for social anxiety they would have to give her anxiety a different name.

About the criteria. There are two words that stand out or at least should and they are very often ignored. The very first critera. A marked and persistent fear....

I have a very good reason for singling out shyness. There are way too many people getting it confused with SA and I don't just mean us, I mean doctors, therapists, authors and the like. I mean why write a book about social anxiety when you can double your book sales by adding shyness to the title? Why just treat social anxiety when you can "treat" shyness as well? There is a lot of extra money to be made by mixing shyness and social anxiety. Those people are exploiting us, shame on them.

Shame on us if we just sit by and let them get away with it. Before the advent of the Internet we had no voice but we do now. When you see a website exploiting us speak out. See someone selling a book like that let them know what you think. Seems like every day someone is writing an article about SA and just quoting the same old tired blah blah and spreading falsehoods in the process. Let them know we don't appreciate being exploited.

Why is it so important that we call attention to these things? Let me give you an example. Christopher Lane, author of the book "Shyness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness". In his book he argues that social anxiety is the invention of Big Pharma. Of course SA already existed, we know that. Of course Big Pharma took advantage of it. Many in the medical profession have taken advantage of it. That doesn't change the fact SA was around long before Big Pharma.

Around 400 B.C. Hippocrates wrote about a man who "through bashfulness, suspicion, and timorousness, will not be seen abroad; loves darkness as life and cannot endure the light or to sit in lightsome places; his hat still in his eyes, he will neither see, nor be seen by his good will. He dare not come in company for fear he should be misused, disgraced, overshoot himself in gesture or speeches, or be sick; he thinks every man observes him". SA is nothing new.

That book has caused untold damage to us and our situation. If we had not allowed people to get away with trivializing SA that book would have been a dud instead of a bestseller.

Maybe we can cut Mr Lane a little slack, after all he's only an English professor and he doesn't have SA. What about when someone who apparently has social anxiety and is in a position to really influence people such as an owner of a popular website does it? One such website makes these claims:

Since the social anxiety page on the website was written by the author of "The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming Your Fear" it's no wonder the page reads like a full page ad for that book as well as his other books which he actually cites as sources. The page is unbelievably biased toward the idea that social anxiety is just bad shyness. You might expect a trusted website to be above such commercialization but sadly no. The damage caused by the likes of Mr Lane is bad enough but when these things come from a source that is supposed to know better the damage is incalculably worse.

Part 3

Let's put aside abstract arguments now, like is social anxiety a mental illness, is mental illness caused by a brain disorder and is the entire fields of psychiatry and mental health just quackery. Let's talk about more practical matters.

Why does it matter what people say or authors write or websites publish? Well let's assume for a moment you have some pretty bad SA going on; the kind where if you thought you were having a heart attack you wouldn't call 911. The kind where you would risk a large fine and even going to jail rather than report for jury duty. The kind where you didn't get that job you absolutely had to have to avoid starvation or homelessness because you couldn't force yourself to go the the interview.

Now some of you are probably saying "WTF?". Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. Try not to judge someones level of impairment based on your own.

Obviously such a person might not be able to work, they just might require a little assistance. Still assuming you are that person, imagine trying to get some help from someone, say a government employee working for the SSA, who thinks what you are describing to him is shyness. After all he read The Washington Post article which said:

"If anyone in my parents' generation had argued that shyness and other run-of-the-mill behaviors might one day be called mental disorders, most people would probably have laughed or stared in disbelief. At the time, wallflowers were often admired as modest and geeks considered bookish. Those who were shy might sometimes have been thought awkward -- my musically gifted mother certainly was -- but their reticence fell within the range of normal behavior. When their discomfort was pronounced, the American Psychiatric Association called it "anxiety neurosis," a psychoanalytic term that encouraged talk-related treatment.

All that changed in February 1980, when the APA classified the broadly defined "avoidant personality disorder" and "social phobia" (later dubbed "social anxiety disorder") as diseases."

"Bashfulness, once prized as a virtue, became a sign for medical concern."

"Is shyness really such a debilitating and widespread trait, or have psychiatrists merely made it seem that way? The psychiatric literature on social anxiety disorder is vast and well intentioned, tied to a host of drug trials and clinical studies aimed at lessening suffering. Chronic anxiety can be a serious problem needing treatment. But did substituting social anxiety disorder for anxiety neurosis blur an important distinction between ordinary shyness and that kind of paralyzing distress?
....research over the past three years, including several days' intensive work in the APA archives, suggests so."

After you've dealt with that bureaucrat and maybe a few more like him you get to talk to a doctor, also working for the SSA. Maybe he's a fan of the Psych Central website; after all doctors use the internet too. In that case he may well have read the article by Dr. John Grohol, CEO and founder of Psych Central who had this to say about social anxiety:

"Welcome to Disorder Nation. As biomedical and pharmaceutical companies struggle to release newer, more effective medications to combat serious mental disorders like depression or bipolar disorders, some people’s attention turn to lesser disorders. Disorders like social anxiety disorder...."

"But leave it to the researchers (or in this case, the lack of research) to turn a normal feeling into something that can be diagnosed and, naturally, treated... "

"I think depression is a mental disorder, while most people who’ve probably been diagnosed with 'social anxiety disorder' do not have a mental disorder."

So we have a prominent doctor on a prominent website basically saying social anxiety is normal and for the most part non-existent. These people influence other people who make policy or decisions which can greatly impact your life and your health. You can't get help for an illness that doesn't exist unless you happen to be wealthy. The debates about whether social anxiety is a valid illness or not are moot to me. I know without any doubt something is wrong with me.

Before you say that doesn't fit you or that your SA isn't that bad so you need not worry keep in mind the fact that I managed to work 42 years before it got the better of me. If just 15 years ago you would have told me I wouldn't be able to work some day because of anxiety I would have likely laughed at you.

Why do some doctors, etc use the term social anxiety when there is no disorder present? For example some will say a man nervous about asking a girl out is "having some social anxiety". Or a teen who is nervous about giving a presentation at school may be described as "having a social anxiety". But why? In what way is being nervous about a date any different than being nervous about say, a court date? It isn't. How is being nervous about a presentation so much worse than being nervous about having a baby that it rates it's own class of nervous? It isn't. So why then?

Laziness? Ignorance? Both? It's just easier. It's easier to just pass on something you read or heard another doctor say, doctors do it all the time. The media and laymen go to them for info and usually cut and paste what they say. Even if a doctor is aware using social anxiety in that way isn't quite right they don't have any incentive to fix the problem; it isn't their problem and I'm sure they're too busy to try and correct it. They also tend to talk down to the masses assuming everyone is dumb so they try to make it as simple as possible. I'm guilty of having done that myself; instead of having to try and explain social anxiety to someone I've told them I was just extremely shy.

There are plenty of other terms to describe those things; shyness, introversion, bashfulness and on and on, if you have social anxiety I'm sure you're heard more than your fair share. There is simply no good reason for calling common nervousness social anxiety.

Shy People.

What about shy people; don't they deserve to not have shyness lumped together with SA? Shyness is awful in it's own right; it may not be an illness but it is something most shy people would like to change about themselves. If you happen to be shy and not have social anxiety then you don't want to be wading through SA advice trying to find something that is going to help you. You want to focus on your problem. Shy people face some of the same shameless exploitation that people with social anxiety do. For example: Shyness.com, with The Shyness Clinic and The Shyness Institute. In some ways what they are doing is even worse and it is patently offensive.