Today is the anniversary of my brother's birthday. He would have been 48 this year, had he been alive. The only reason why I'm even bothering to...
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I was just thinking about bitterness today. My grandmother and father were both hugely bitter people, hangning onto old hurts like they're priceless. My Mom taught me that I have a choice as to what I do with my bitter feelings.
With all the crap I've been through (especially the last 15 years...), I would have a right to feel bitter but I also have the right to work through those issues, try to learn something from them and go on from there.
It took me years to get past what all my grandmother did to me, in addition to what my father did to me. I'm just getting to the point where I don't obsess over how I'm the only one left, which, for me is major progress.
While anxiety always plays a part in how I deal with stuff, that's just one more thing that I have to work through. I'm getting better at letting things go and pushing myself to do what I need to do...
That brings me to the one thing that I've been blowing off the last month... calling that damned lawyer!!! 
I'm really not happy with myself on that but I have to give my anxiety room too. The more I fight it, the more it rears it's ugly head and makes it all the worse. I tried to force myself to make the call a few weeks ago and had a friggin' panic attack O_o Not good.
At any rate, I got 'that time of the month' today and ironically enough, I haven't fallen into a deep depression and despite feeling like death warmed over today, emotionally, I was kind of upbeat for a change... go figure
((((((((((((((((((((Annie))))))))))))))))))) I've been dealing with feeling bitter this week. Some of it due to a choice I made. I told myself that I would just feel it and let it go.
The other thing was about my father. I don't know why it's so hard to let go of things that hurt you when you were a kid, but I know that it is. And it seems like even if you think you've moved past it, it can still come back and bite you in the butt. And it rather sucks sometimes.
Your mom was certainly right. Holding on to bitterness only makes you feel bad. The person or situation that you're feeling bitter about can't feel that.
I'm glad to hear that you've been feeling more perky this week. 
Eventually you're going to make that phone call. And then you're going to be feeling even better! 
Yeah, isn't it funny how you can swear that you've dealt with something up down, backwards and forwards and later on, it comes back and bites you in the ass??
Hopefully, I'll get over myself and call that stupid lawyer today. I really don't feel like doing that at this moment because my sinuses are acting up (my head feels like it's going to fall off any second now...) but if I feel up to it, I'll go ahead later today. I just want to get this done and over with so I can stop stressing about it.
((((((((((((((((((((Annie))))))))))))))))))) I've been dealing with feeling bitter this week. Some of it due to a choice I made. I told myself that I would just feel it and let it go.
The other thing was about my father. I don't know why it's so hard to let go of things that hurt you when you were a kid, but I know that it is. And it seems like even if you think you've moved past it, it can still come back and bite you in the butt. And it rather sucks sometimes.
Your mom was certainly right. Holding on to bitterness only makes you feel bad. The person or situation that you're feeling bitter about can't feel that.
I'm glad to hear that you've been feeling more perky this week. Eventually you're going to make that phone call. And then you're going to be feeling even better!
