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Fu¢k 'em, I did it. by ashes
Note - please don't anyone take these rantings personally, they aren't meant for you. I do appreciate everyone's words in my previous blog/posts,...
Note - please don't anyone take these rantings personally, they aren't meant for you. I do appreciate everyone's words in my previous blog/posts,...
Posted on: April 16, 2010
This blog has 10 comment(s) and was viewed 32 times(s). Last comments by:
This blog has 10 comment(s) and was viewed 32 times(s). Last comments by:
Posted March 8, 2010 by ashes
The Darker Side of Human Nature
Lately I've been considering how people are so often judged poorly by others, and how this can lead them to become people that others dislike, or just people that hate themselves..
I've always said and believed that 'society creates its own monsters', and I've seen the proof a number of times.. but looking beyond public exposure of things like the Columbine massacres to my own personal experiences, I've noticed I tend to befriend people that 'almost' became those 'monsters' people love to hate..
..
One guy I became friends with a while back shared the same distaste for office politics and 'drama' that I did - not atypical, I know... But the thing is, after knowing him for a while, I found out that he had very few friends (like me), and his one best friend was a self-loathing individual that was almost the opposite of the guy I befriended. (one hated others, the other hated himself)
So eventually I found out that these two both had come from similar circumstances in school: they both were picked on for their differences (one was quiet, the other was a foreigner - and both disliked conformity).
What was the real shocker for me is that these two had jointly made plans to shoot up the school. I kid you not - they scoped out the school, drew up blueprints, had the whole concept ready for execution (and this was a decade before Columbine). They both even considered doing driveby's at people's houses, and instead of 'offing' the people they hated the most, they thought beyond that - and wanted to exact revenge on the pain caused to them by terminating their enemy's loved-ones (so that they can suffer in pain and agony the rest of their lives). It sounds like the work of very very sick minds - and yes, they were obviously mentally unstable at the time. But me, I like to explore the reasons for human nature, not just slap a label on people and be done with it.
Now, I in no way condone the actions these two were considering - but I do *understand* why they felt the way they did. I too was picked on (heck, lots of kids were and still are). Why should these other kids get to make mine or anyone else's life a living hell? Now, I certainly don't think violence is the answer - hell, it only creates a vicious circle of repeating violence. But seriously, who hasn't wished someone dead at some point in their life? It's a natural feeling, though most of us usually grow out of it.
Anyway, the point is - people are cruel to other people. To let such actions continue on without intervention will undoubtedly lead to one of their tormented victims becoming mentally unstable and possibly violent - even murderous. (It of course takes a number of additional factors for this behavior to emerge, but such abuse definitely takes its toll on the victim)
Also, another person I made friends with online was actually involved in attacking websites and people online. He too had a similar background driving his hatred and hateful actions towards others.
You might ask why I stayed friends with these people. Am I sick too? Do I imagine doing cruel things to others? Well, no.. but I did at one point in my life. And so I can empathize with *why* they were the way they were.
...
So anyway, time does have an effect on people and their attitudes.. Today, the mastermind behind that planned massacre is now a devoted born-again Christian with many friends and a family of his own. The 'troll' who was cruel to people online actually wound up creating a website to help support others who have mental disorders.
Interesting how people can come *so* close to becoming something society completely despises, and then later becoming someone that people admire, adore, and love, hey?
It begs the question then - should we EVER judge a person? EVER? Or should we accept them... Find the good in them and cherish it? Find that hurt person inside that just needs a little more attention, and help it become more a part of who they are?
As I see it, everyone has a 'dark' and 'light' side... the scales can be tipped one way or another. What do you say we stop pointing fingers, accusing, becoming the same tormentors these people already have had enough of in life. Lets look beyond the ugly cruel thoughts festering in their minds, and try to see that hidden self inside those layers of hurt and anger. If we can be a friend to them - a positive influence - maybe we can help that good person inside break free of the shackles that bind it..
Perhaps I'm just another dreamer.. but its sure nice to think of people being less judgmental and cruel and instead being more understanding and supportive..
...
P.S. That self-loathing friend-of-a-friend I spoke of is *possibly* still unhappy and alone - but one good change I got to see in him was that he lost a lot of weight and as a result had a somewhat better image of himself after becoming thin again. (I lost contact with him years ago, unfortunately)
...
Anyway.. that would be my mullings over the darker side of human nature as I have experienced it..
-ashes
Lately I've been considering how people are so often judged poorly by others, and how this can lead them to become people that others dislike, or just people that hate themselves..
I've always said and believed that 'society creates its own monsters', and I've seen the proof a number of times.. but looking beyond public exposure of things like the Columbine massacres to my own personal experiences, I've noticed I tend to befriend people that 'almost' became those 'monsters' people love to hate..
..
One guy I became friends with a while back shared the same distaste for office politics and 'drama' that I did - not atypical, I know... But the thing is, after knowing him for a while, I found out that he had very few friends (like me), and his one best friend was a self-loathing individual that was almost the opposite of the guy I befriended. (one hated others, the other hated himself)
So eventually I found out that these two both had come from similar circumstances in school: they both were picked on for their differences (one was quiet, the other was a foreigner - and both disliked conformity).
What was the real shocker for me is that these two had jointly made plans to shoot up the school. I kid you not - they scoped out the school, drew up blueprints, had the whole concept ready for execution (and this was a decade before Columbine). They both even considered doing driveby's at people's houses, and instead of 'offing' the people they hated the most, they thought beyond that - and wanted to exact revenge on the pain caused to them by terminating their enemy's loved-ones (so that they can suffer in pain and agony the rest of their lives). It sounds like the work of very very sick minds - and yes, they were obviously mentally unstable at the time. But me, I like to explore the reasons for human nature, not just slap a label on people and be done with it.
Now, I in no way condone the actions these two were considering - but I do *understand* why they felt the way they did. I too was picked on (heck, lots of kids were and still are). Why should these other kids get to make mine or anyone else's life a living hell? Now, I certainly don't think violence is the answer - hell, it only creates a vicious circle of repeating violence. But seriously, who hasn't wished someone dead at some point in their life? It's a natural feeling, though most of us usually grow out of it.
Anyway, the point is - people are cruel to other people. To let such actions continue on without intervention will undoubtedly lead to one of their tormented victims becoming mentally unstable and possibly violent - even murderous. (It of course takes a number of additional factors for this behavior to emerge, but such abuse definitely takes its toll on the victim)
Also, another person I made friends with online was actually involved in attacking websites and people online. He too had a similar background driving his hatred and hateful actions towards others.
You might ask why I stayed friends with these people. Am I sick too? Do I imagine doing cruel things to others? Well, no.. but I did at one point in my life. And so I can empathize with *why* they were the way they were.
...
So anyway, time does have an effect on people and their attitudes.. Today, the mastermind behind that planned massacre is now a devoted born-again Christian with many friends and a family of his own. The 'troll' who was cruel to people online actually wound up creating a website to help support others who have mental disorders.
Interesting how people can come *so* close to becoming something society completely despises, and then later becoming someone that people admire, adore, and love, hey?
It begs the question then - should we EVER judge a person? EVER? Or should we accept them... Find the good in them and cherish it? Find that hurt person inside that just needs a little more attention, and help it become more a part of who they are?
As I see it, everyone has a 'dark' and 'light' side... the scales can be tipped one way or another. What do you say we stop pointing fingers, accusing, becoming the same tormentors these people already have had enough of in life. Lets look beyond the ugly cruel thoughts festering in their minds, and try to see that hidden self inside those layers of hurt and anger. If we can be a friend to them - a positive influence - maybe we can help that good person inside break free of the shackles that bind it..
Perhaps I'm just another dreamer.. but its sure nice to think of people being less judgmental and cruel and instead being more understanding and supportive..
...
P.S. That self-loathing friend-of-a-friend I spoke of is *possibly* still unhappy and alone - but one good change I got to see in him was that he lost a lot of weight and as a result had a somewhat better image of himself after becoming thin again. (I lost contact with him years ago, unfortunately)
...
Anyway.. that would be my mullings over the darker side of human nature as I have experienced it..
-ashes
PolkaDot wrote at March 31, 2010
0 Votes 
gahhh i cant believe ur teachers took part in bullying you... that makes me sick 
ppl get all twisted up sometimes... i think we are all so short sighted and have such limited viewing to ever be in a good position to 'judge' anyone. i mean, honestly we can judge what they do or how they treat others. but those are only actions, behaviors. and while they may speak to the sort of individuals they are... we all are always changing, and like you said, we are kind of a product of our environments too, so there is more to it than just how good a person we are.
ur right, we've all probly had at least fleeting thoughts of wanting to hurt someone at some point in our lives, but who knows why some ppl plan and follow thru with that sometimes without regret or remorse, while others find other ways to deal (possibly even hurting themselves)... and who knows what caused the bullies to be so mean in the firs place, usually they have issues with negativity toward themselves and thats how they cope... its a sad world tho when ppl want to kill each other
ppl get all twisted up sometimes... i think we are all so short sighted and have such limited viewing to ever be in a good position to 'judge' anyone. i mean, honestly we can judge what they do or how they treat others. but those are only actions, behaviors. and while they may speak to the sort of individuals they are... we all are always changing, and like you said, we are kind of a product of our environments too, so there is more to it than just how good a person we are.
ur right, we've all probly had at least fleeting thoughts of wanting to hurt someone at some point in our lives, but who knows why some ppl plan and follow thru with that sometimes without regret or remorse, while others find other ways to deal (possibly even hurting themselves)... and who knows what caused the bullies to be so mean in the firs place, usually they have issues with negativity toward themselves and thats how they cope... its a sad world tho when ppl want to kill each other
Last Update on March 31, 2010 by PolkaDot
ashes wrote at March 31, 2010
0 Votes
Thanks PolkaDot, I agree with ya. I do think that the point where people find themselves unable to value other people's (or their own) lives is pretty extreme. But I can totally understand it.. we humans can objectify people as things, dehumanize and even 'demonize' them. It happens all the time - but people usually have it ingrained in them what's 'right' and 'wrong' in society, so they have the basis for some type of moral compass (and thus won't do extreme things).
Some people can't control themselves though.. or wind up questioning society's views of morality. And some fall back into primal urges and just act out on them. I can't recall, but I think 'Instinct' was a movie that explored some of the themes I'm talking about..
Anyway, thanks again.. its always interesting to see what people think, especially when they take time to understand and consider the whole 'picture'.
Some people can't control themselves though.. or wind up questioning society's views of morality. And some fall back into primal urges and just act out on them. I can't recall, but I think 'Instinct' was a movie that explored some of the themes I'm talking about..
Anyway, thanks again.. its always interesting to see what people think, especially when they take time to understand and consider the whole 'picture'.
Florian Kornberger wrote at March 8, 2010
0 Votes
I saw on the news the other day and somehow they had a statistic saying that bullying was down 38% compared to 10 years ago. Maybe the messages are getting out about that, especially in schools?
ashes wrote at March 8, 2010
0 Votes
It could be. It was every bit as much a responsibility to keep it in check by the teachers as by the parents. I myself remember teachers turning a blind eye to the whole thing - or worse, contributing (as in my case - I was insulted and put down in front of the class by the teachers!)
Anyway, you're right - I do recall reading about some efforts to keep bullying out of schools.. perhaps things are faring better. I hope so!
Anyway, you're right - I do recall reading about some efforts to keep bullying out of schools.. perhaps things are faring better. I hope so!
