im back....duna nuna nuna nuna nuna.............
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I just became aware recently by two main people that i am co-dependant. i just started a book "co-dependant no more" by melody beattie. ive only read the first 20 pages or so. and its been insane how much i relate to this. being co-dependant can ruin relationships, get you in a pattern of being in bad relationships, feeling the need to do anything to keep a relationship alive(no mattter the cost to you), feeling like you cant make it on your own,ruin your life and everything youve worked for, etc. i only realize these things when im in relationships. so instead of me trying to explain it all, i ll just give you some info i got off the net: just check out these links http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/codependency.htm#whatis
http://www.mhafc.org/codepend.htm
the second one has a quetionairre.
You know, that may be where I thought I was.....until my father passed away and I was forced to do everything on my own. When he died, I was so numb to the pain (partly due to Paxil) that I just went into autopilot and started doing things by myself. I now run an entire house by myself (I have only partial help with payment and chores from my brother). I often have to ask him to do stuff. I have learned to go on my own. Maybe I am getting DEPENDENT confused with CODEPENDENT.
Anyway, the more I have donw for myself, the more confidence I have. Unfortunately, I can't seem to handle laziness in the people around me anymore. I have the mindset that ANYONE can do what they set their mind to.....ANYONE! It's hard; It's nervewracking, but boy is it ever the coolest thing! 
